


Letters to Jay Walker

by orphan_account



Category: The LEGO Ninjago Movie (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Cole and Jay deserve this, Eventual Romance, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Happy Ending, If you've read Because You'll Never Meet Me, Jay has a lot of issues, Letters, M/M, Pen Pals, Teenage Dorks, Written as letters, You'll like this, or Nowhere Near You, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-06-11 18:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Y'know, you're literally the first person I've actually talked to outside of my writing, 'sides Nya of course." Jay fumbled with his gloves. "I'm glad we got the chance to meet up, you really dragged me out of my comfort zone, gave me the chills.""I dragged you from the cold, you were freezing Jay. But yeah, what did I tell you? I'm an ice guy." Cole laughed at his own joke. Jay frowned, clearly not finding the joke funny."You're not funny.""Thanks, bud, I try.""I know."





	1. An Introduction Worth Writing

Dear Pen Pal,

Oh boy, this going to be an introduction worth writing. Let’s start with the basics I guess? I have been gifted with the most glorious name, Jay Walker. Yeah, that’s right. And no, I do not cross streets illegally, only a fool would do that. And I’m no fool...I think.

Anyway, I’m an inventor, meaning that I invent things. The title’s pretty obvious because I don’t just invent small trinkets and gadgets, I invent big, thriving robots and stuff that sometimes have a mind of their own. May you rest in pieces Hair-Grower 3000. I’ll tell you about that another time. Ah, the things homeschooling can do for you.

Which reminds me, are you homeschooled? I don’t think so, and I don’t even know you! You’re probably somewhere in the city, hanging with your friends, reading comics or something, must be nice. If my assumptions are correct, then what is public school like? Is the food really as gross as they say they are, what about cliques and those popular dudes that every girl seems to fall for? Man, public school is like one big romantic comedy all in one.

Life’s pretty great here in the junkyard, nothing unusual happens here (except for that one time). I’ve only been into the city once or twice, I can’t remember, it’s been a long time. But from what I hear from my parents, it smells like busy traffic and hotdogs, smells fun. Of course, I’m a man of Sci-Fi, so from my perspective, there’s probably some heroes roaming around and not destroying cities, kinda like those ninja I see on that one TV show. I’m pretty sure they exist when no one’s looking.

I know what you’re probably thinking: Well gosh, Jay. How can someone as handsome as you be so lonely in the outskirts of Ninjago? Well, my answer is: Blame my antisocial-ness! (It’s called Selective Mutism or something that has to do with anxiety). My parents (Edna and Ed) tell me that I have like some sort of disorder that makes me unable to communicate well with other people, I dunno how that works but whatever. Thing is, I like to talk, a lot, but when I see some random stranger pass by the junkyard, I just shut down completely and forget to speak. It’s like a really weird version of anxiety. You tell me how that works.

I remember one time when I was doing homework from online school and the doorbell rang. So little me went to go get it, I opened the door and it was the mailman. I was so excited when I saw a package for me and then I froze, once again, my disorder ruins everything. The mailman asked me for my name, but I just stood, staring at him, maybe drool was coming from my mouth, I forget. It ended with the mailman putting the package down slowly and running away scared. Honestly, I couldn’t blame him.

So Pen Pal, is that right? To call you “Pen Pal”? For now probably until you write back. So Pen Pal, if you’re still reading at this point, I have a joke for you. What did the pencil say when it ran out of lead? Nevermind, it’s pointless! Get it? I hope so.

Write me back so I can know that I’m talking to a real person.

-The Glorious Jay Walker

P.S. Is your name also a play-on-words? Tell me about that too!


	2. First of All, You're Hilarious

Dear Jay Walker,

First of all, you’re hilarious. You should be proud of your sense of humor, not many people can make life worthwhile. Cole Brookstone at your service, sir. A junior at Ninjago Highschool, and yes, the food here's gross, so are the constant breakups between the popular girls and pretty boys. I think you'd get it. Be glad that you don't have to wake up at six in the morning just to catch the bus! What a hassle!

You were right about school being some big romantic comedy, it’s amazing that we don’t have any directors telling us our stage numbers and stuff. Just imagine an extremely handsome (or beautiful) person falling for this nerdy nobody, that’s exactly what it’s like, kinda like the food pyramid. Speaking of food, I’m saying it’s gross just because it doesn’t involve cake,  so I bring my own “lunch” which is usually something my dad cooked the other night. Trust me, I’d try sneaking cake if it weren’t for Zane, my friend, and food critic.

The cliques are pretty bad here too, there’s this guy who’s name is Chen who’s a cheerleader I guess. He likes to mess around with Lloyd for the sake that his father is Sensei Garmadon (possibly jealousy) if you’ve heard of it, the Destiny’s Bounty is a ship-like dojo that Master Wu said to have to belong to Sky Pirates a long time ago, whatever that means. Anyway, Chen’s a real lady killer, he hits on Nya all the time, much to Kai’s dismay. It’s a crazy mess of “Who’s Better Than Who”, what fun!

Enough about that now, so congratulations! You’re talking a normal human being who’s an expert at talking to people and knows how to tell stories (Okay, those two last parts were a lie). I don’t know how to talk to people, the only way I’ve actually made friends is by being mopey all the time and probably brooding according to Kai. I’ll go nice and easy on you, my entire life story is pretty boring.

If you’ve heard of the Royal Blacksmiths, then you’ve probably heard of Lou Brookstone, that’s my dad, the lead singer. There’s not much to say about him though, he’s not around as often as I’d like him to, so I’m not going into detail with him. As I said earlier, yes I go to school, yes I have friends who I hang out with when we’re not training, they’re the ones who inspired me to write to a penpal in fact. I’ve got four of ‘em, Kai, Zane, Nya, and Lloyd, we’re mainly a group of losers who do cool stuff together, like kick each other in the stomach or wrestle until someone taps out (I’m joking, we only do that when we’re sparring). It’s a funny story though, I accidentally dislocated Kai’s arm by flipping him over my shoulder (He’s fine, I swear!).

So, Jay Walker, I wanna know more about this “Selective Mutism” thing, to me, it’s like a weird robot thing probably. I mean, at school, they talk about this guy who’s a hermit or something and lives alone (Like one of those Folklore stories). I don’t know if that’s you. Is that you? That hermit that they talk about? (I hope I’m not offending you, dude.)

That’s all. 

-Cole Brookstone

P.S. I liked your joke, do you know any jokes that even a robot would get? Zane doesn’t really get the jokes me and Kai come up with. Not that he is one! I’m just saying, hypothetically speaking. Don’t get me wrong, Jay Walker, I love the guy and all, but I think my jokes go way past his head sometimes. It’s like he understands what we’re saying half of the time and then confuses it for a question, Kai and I think it’s funny. So, I guessing if you have a better joke, I’d like to hear it!


	3. You're Totally Not Boring!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been gone for a thousand years, I can't believe it took me so long to get inspiration to write here again :(

Dear Cole Brookstone,

Now that we’ve met each other’s acquaintance, just let me say one tiny, itty, bitty thing. What do you mean that your life story is “boring”!? You’re the opposite of that! You’re totally not boring, unlike this junkyard baby, you’ve got friends, a singer dad, and a pretty boy bully who likes stealing that girl Nya. Lighten up a bit, you're human, you've got emotions, use them!

Okay, when you wrote about that hermit guy, I laughed, then I looked it up. I mean, could it be me? I dunno. When I read about it, it made me sound like I was some girl with long hair who was locked away in a castle for eternity (Yes, it made me sound like Rapunzel and I am slightly offended)! But that’s not who I am, I’m not some urban legend that hides behinds societies eyes for kicks, I’m a nice guy to talk to (Sounds like something the Jolly ‘Ol Fat Dude would say…), speaking of which, let me tell you the story of how I got myself banned from the mall:

* * *

It was Christmas Eve, and I was six when it happened (Got that? Little Jay Walker was 6-years-old! That’s very important, trust me), and I was excited because it’d be the first time that I ever got to go into Ninjago City and to add on to that, it’d be the first time that I would meet the legendary Santa Claus! Ma tried strapping me to a car seat (Cause I was short for a 6-year-old apparently), but I was too busy kicking the driver’s seat and singing Christmas songs in a mess of stuttering and lisps (Ma turned up the radio so she didn’t have to listen to my horrible singing).

Anyway, when we made it to the mall, it was glorious: Ceiling-high ceilings, popcorn smells, escalators and elevators, mall cops, Christmas-themed stores, and a huge Christmas tree and most importantly people! I’ve never been so excited than anything in my entire life because the only people I’ve ever talked too was my own parents (Fun times I tell ya). But there, in the middle of it all, was the man himself, Santa Claus! I wanted to be the, first in line but Ma held me back, saying something about “Missing the Reindeer”.

So we walked around for a bit, ate some lunch (Because the Santa thing didn’t open until like 1:00), and went into some opens stores, stood in line for caramel popcorn (I tried saying ‘Thank You’ but all I said was something with a very quiet whisper). I guess I was carrying so much static shock because Ma couldn’t go through those metal detectors without it going off and the mall cops checking us every once in a while (Thanks scarf!), now that I think about it, maybe that was why the people kept staring at us, or it was because of me flinching every time somebody got near me. I tried my best to smile at them so they could look away, but nah, my brain didn’t feel like working that day.

Okay, okay, let me get to the worst part of my life: You know Santa Claus looks like, right? Now just imagine being 6 years old and staring at his mass full of hot cocoa and gingerbread men, you’d be both terrified and excited at the same time, I’ll tell you that. Anyway, I was like the 50th kid in line so it took forever for them to get to me. We waited, and waited and waited (By that time, I probably took a nap).

“Merry Christmas Eve, young man!” The Jolly Red Giant boomed to little Jay Walker. I stood gaping at him, unsure of what to say, in truth, I was terrified. Ma pushed me a little, probably to motivate me or something. “Don't be scared! I'm very friendly.”

I just nodded and hesitantly sat on his lap. Santa's elves looked just as friendly as he was, rosy red cheeks, painted plastic pointy ears, y’know, Christmas stuff. Anyway, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

That was kind of a big mistake.

See, I like things. Many things. I read comic books and stuff, I like talking, I like having the ability to not make friends. Okay, that last part was a lie. I really want the ability to make friends.

“What’s your name, little guy?” The fat guy who puts candy into your Christmas trees said. I blinked, unsure of what to say, well, I couldn’t exactly say anything. So I did what any normal kid my age would do. I cried. (Yep, little Jay Walker cried, yay plot twist). Santa looked to my mom. “Is he okay?”

“He’s just a bit surprised, that’s all.” Ma nodded but I continued to cry. I wanted to tell him that I had a thing that makes me unable to talk to people like a kid. I was/am a smart kid I guess. Anyway. After getting stares from the other parents, Ma told him. “Jay has a disorder that causes him to silence himself in front of others, we are still trying to figure it out.”

“I see,” Santa said. “Do you know if he wants anything for Christmas.”

Ooo, maybe that Fritz Donnegan action figure I keep seeing at the toy store and is nearly sold out. Or that super cool light-up piano I saw the other day. Or how about that really tiny Corgi that I shall name Sparky. I wanted a lot of things.

That’s when it happened, without warning. I guess I stayed silent enough, cause there were the impatient parents arguing and yelling at me, the sound was terrible. They were so mean, and I was so small. It hurt, Cole Brookstone.

“This kid is wasting my time!”

“My daughter, she wants a Mech X 3.0 Samurai Battle Toy, why can’t he just choose that?”

“I don’t have all day.”

“There are other, smarter kids that would love this opportunity right about now!”

“Just ask for a cat or something, First Spinjitzu Master!”

I still feel bad for Santa when he held me, he’s probably deaf now because I screamed. I screamed so loud that all the lights blew out, I don’t know if that was just a power outage or I had powers but it did. Once I screamed, everyone else either froze or screamed with me, there were sparks everywhere, that scarf sure was something. I would call it revenge but nah.

“You!” I could see a security guard in the dark, he pointed at me. I stopped screaming. “You have been a nuisance for the past four hours! Get out!”

“Woah there, Mack, it’s fine-” Santa started to say. The guard, Mack, raised a hand.

“Sit down, Cookies and Milk,” Mack said, Santa shut his mouth after that. (That guy was so rude, Cole!). Turning to Ma, he jeered a finger at her. “You and your son are banned from this mall until he learns to control whatever that was unless he’s a really small thief.”

I frowned, it wasn’t entirely my fault that I did it right? My brain’s all messed up, that’s it, nothing else was wrong with me. (Plus, I’m too much of a coward to steal anything man!). Ma protectively put a hand in front of me (thank the FSM for that, I love her), and then she said the most amazing words ever:

“You can not just ban a child from a free establishment just for the fact that he has a problem that he can’t control, my little Jaybird is special, and I love him for that, and nothing will ever change that.”

Then she and I walked out of the mall together, (the cops were there too but I paid them no attention). Ma gave me a smile when we got to the truck, so we took off and got some ice cream (I think I broke a lot of lights because half of the entire city was down).

Thus, this adventure begins the Trials and Tribulations of the Hermit-Cryptid Jay Walker and his Lonely Life in a Junkyard!

* * *

Sorry, you had to read all that, I was just excited because I’ve never done this before. (If you ever do reply back, just know that I’m gonna write a buttload of stories that I have because, boy, being lonely does that to you). You now know the story off of my life, I wanna hear more of yours.

Happy Writing!

-The Glorious Jay Walker

P.S. Here’s a jokey-joke for your totally-not-a-robot friend:

What did the robot say when he was asked to shut down?

Ro-NOT!


End file.
